The Waiting Game Made Easy: How Having Patience Can Transform Your Life
Understanding the Power of Having Patience
Having patience means being able to wait calmly during delays, setbacks, or challenges without becoming frustrated or angry. In our world of instant notifications, same-day delivery, and on-demand everything, patience has become increasingly rare—yet more valuable than ever.
"Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting." - Joyce Meyer
What is patience and why does it matter?
- Definition: The capacity to accept delay, trouble, or suffering without getting upset
- Core benefit: Reduces stress and improves mental health
- Physical impact: Associated with lower blood pressure and longer telomere length (linked to longevity)
- Relationship effect: Creates stronger connections through better listening and empathy
- Achievement link: Supports long-term goal attainment and perseverance
Research from a 2018 study of 440 university students found that patient people have higher levels of empathy, discipline, and are significantly less prone to negative emotions. Meanwhile, impatient people often report more health problems including headaches, ulcers, and sleep disturbances.
Patience isn't merely passive waiting—it's an active choice to remain calm and controlled when facing life's inevitable delays and disappointments. As we'll explore in this article, cultivating patience can transform not just how you feel in challenging moments, but your entire approach to life's journey.
When you're struggling with impatience, whether in traffic, relationships, or personal growth, coaching can provide valuable support. At Share The Struggle, our faith-based coaches can help you develop patience as part of a broader emotional wellness strategy, with weekly group sessions starting at just $40/month.
Why Patience Is Still a Virtue in 2024
In our world of one-click shopping and instant streaming, having patience might seem like an outdated concept. Yet in 2024, patience isn't just relevant—it's becoming essential for our wellbeing and happiness.
Patience is more than just waiting. It's about maintaining calm endurance when life gets challenging. It's exercising self-control when frustration builds and choosing delayed gratification instead of immediate rewards. According to researchers at Fuller Theological Seminary and UC Davis, patience delivers measurable benefits that affect nearly every aspect of our lives.
What's particularly fascinating is how patience affects us at a cellular level. A groundbreaking 2016 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences finded that impatient people tend to have shorter telomeres—those protective caps on our chromosomes linked directly to aging and longevity. In simple terms, being impatient might actually speed up how quickly our bodies age!
Beyond personal health, patience strengthens our connections with others. Patient people typically demonstrate greater empathy, cooperation, and forgiveness, as confirmed by research from 2007. These qualities create stronger relationships and healthier communities built on civic trust.
"Patience works like a muscle—the more you practice it, the stronger it becomes," notes research from the Journal of Positive Psychology. And like any muscle, we can strengthen it through consistent practice and the right techniques.
When patience feels particularly challenging, having support can make all the difference. At Share The Struggle, our faith-based coaches help you develop patience as part of a comprehensive approach to emotional wellness. Through weekly group sessions starting at just $40/month, you can learn practical techniques for cultivating patience in your daily life—without sacrificing your goals or momentum.
The Three Core Types of Patience & Where You'll Meet Them Daily
Patience isn't a one-size-fits-all virtue. Research from a 2012 study involving nearly 400 college students revealed that patience actually comes in three distinct flavors, each showing up in different areas of our daily lives:
Interpersonal patience is what we need when dealing with that coworker who tells the same stories on repeat or when helping your child with homework for the third time. It's about staying calm during challenging social interactions rather than letting frustration take over.
Life-hardship patience comes into play during those major life challenges that test our endurance - recovering from surgery, navigating unemployment, or healing after a painful breakup. This deeper form of patience requires resilience and perspective.
Daily-hassles patience is what we draw on for those small but irritating moments that pepper our days - sitting in standstill traffic, waiting for a webpage to load, or standing in a grocery line that seems to be moving backward.
Understanding these different types helps explain why you might have endless patience for your elderly neighbor's lengthy stories (interpersonal patience) but feel ready to throw your computer out the window when a website takes more than three seconds to load (daily-hassles patience).
| Type of Patience | Common Triggers | Key Traits Needed | Real-World Examples |
|---|---|---|---|
| Interpersonal | Difficult conversations, Conflicts, Unreliable people | Empathy, Active listening, Emotional regulation | Dealing with a challenging coworker, Parenting a strong-willed child |
| Life-hardship | Major illness, Job loss, Relationship breakups | Resilience, Perspective, Faith | Recovering from surgery, Waiting for test results, Career transitions |
| Daily-hassles | Traffic jams, Technology issues, Waiting rooms | Mindfulness, Humor, Flexibility | Standing in grocery lines, Dealing with slow internet |
When you recognize which type of patience you struggle with most, you can focus your growth efforts more precisely. Many of us have an abundance of patience in one area while finding ourselves quickly triggered in another.
Spotting Impatience Triggers
Your body often sounds the alarm about impatience before your mind fully catches up. Having patience begins with recognizing these early warning signs:
Your heart beats faster and your breathing becomes shallow. Your shoulders creep up toward your ears, and your jaw tightens. You might feel a rush of heat (that "blood boiling" sensation isn't just an expression!) or catch yourself repeatedly checking the time.
These physical reactions coincide with a surge of cortisol, your body's primary stress hormone. In our digital world, we've also developed new impatience triggers that our grandparents never faced:
That anxious feeling when your phone buzzes with a notification and you can't immediately check it. The frustration of watching a loading icon spin for even a few seconds. The growing irritation when someone hasn't responded to your text within minutes.
By becoming aware of your personal impatience triggers, you can prepare strategies to manage them before they hijack your emotional state. This self-awareness is often the first step in developing greater patience.
If you're finding it particularly challenging to recognize or manage your impatience triggers, working with a coach can provide valuable personalized support. At Share The Struggle, our faith-based coaches are trained to help you identify patterns and develop practical strategies for having patience in your specific circumstances, with weekly group coaching sessions starting at just $40/month.
8 Science-Backed Benefits of Having Patience
Wouldn't it be nice if patience came with an immediate reward? Ironically, the real power of patience reveals itself over time. Research consistently shows that those who master the art of waiting well reap remarkable benefits across their entire lives. Here's what science tells us about the rewards of having patience:
Benefit #1: Improved Mental Health
When we choose patience over frustration, our minds thank us. Research from Schnitker and Emmons' 2007 study revealed that patient people experience significantly less depression and genuinely enjoy higher levels of life satisfaction. This isn't just feeling "less bad" – patient people actively experience more positive emotions day to day. Think of patience as emotional armor that protects your mental wellbeing during life's inevitable waiting periods.
Benefit #2: Reduced Anxiety and Stress
Ever notice how impatience makes your heart race and your thoughts scatter? That's your sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight) in overdrive. Having patience activates the opposite system – your parasympathetic "rest and digest" response. This biological calming effect explains why patient people report feeling less overwhelmed even when facing the same challenges as everyone else. Your body literally processes stress differently when you approach situations with patience.
Benefit #3: Improved Sleep Quality
The connection between patience and sleep quality is fascinating. Those Type A personalities who can't stand waiting tend to be the same ones tossing and turning at night. When we cultivate patience, we reduce the mental rumination and frustration that often keep us staring at the ceiling. Better sleep then makes it easier to maintain patience the next day – creating what sleep scientists call a "positive bidirectional relationship."
Benefit #4: Physical Health Boosts From Having Patience
The physical benefits of having patience extend far beyond feeling calmer. Research has found that patient people report fewer health problems such as headaches, acne flare-ups, ulcers, diarrhea, and pneumonia.
The connection between patience and physical health appears to be related to stress reduction. When we're impatient, our bodies release stress hormones that, over time, can contribute to inflammation and weakened immune function. Patient people tend to have:
- Lower blood pressure
- Reduced risk of cardiovascular issues
- Stronger immune systems
- Fewer stress-related digestive problems
Perhaps most remarkably, that 2016 study mentioned earlier found that impatience is associated with shorter telomeres—the protective caps on our DNA that naturally shorten as we age. This suggests that cultivating patience might actually slow cellular aging.
Benefit #5: Stronger Relationships
Have you ever noticed how the most patient people often have the healthiest relationships? This isn't coincidence. A 2008 study demonstrated that patient individuals contributed more in group financial tasks, showing higher levels of cooperation and selflessness. Patience enables us to truly listen, respond thoughtfully rather than reactively, and forgive readily – the building blocks of deep, meaningful connections. Your patience creates space for others to be authentically themselves.
Benefit #6: Better Decision-Making
Impulse purchases, hasty emails, quick judgments – impatience often leads to choices we later regret. Having patience gives us the gift of perspective. It allows us to gather more information, consider different options, and align our decisions with our long-term values rather than our immediate desires. From financial choices to career moves, patient decision-making consistently leads to better outcomes.
Benefit #7: Greater Goal Achievement
Dreams take time – something patient people understand deeply. In a revealing 2012 study, researchers found that patient individuals reported putting more consistent effort toward their goals and, interestingly, felt more satisfied with their achievements compared to impatient participants. Patience gives us the perseverance to push through inevitable obstacles and setbacks on the path to meaningful accomplishment.
Benefit #8: Increased Overall Life Satisfaction
When we combine better health, stronger relationships, wiser decisions, and greater achievement, it's no wonder patient people report higher overall life satisfaction. Having patience creates the ability to find peace in the present moment, even while working toward future goals. This balanced approach to life – accepting the journey while moving toward the destination – creates a fundamentally more fulfilling experience.
If you're struggling with impatience in your life, you're not alone. At Share The Struggle, our faith-based coaches can help you develop patience as part of a holistic approach to emotional wellness. Through weekly group sessions starting at just $40/month, you can learn practical strategies for cultivating patience in your daily life.
Practical Strategies to Cultivate Patience (Without Losing Momentum)
Developing patience doesn't mean becoming passive or giving up on your ambitions. Instead, it means approaching your goals with a calmer, more thoughtful attitude. Think of patience as a muscle that grows stronger with regular exercise – here's how to start your training program:
1. Practice Mindfulness
Have you ever noticed how quickly frustration can take over? Mindfulness creates a buffer zone between what happens and how you respond – essential breathing room for having patience.
Start small: when you feel that familiar rush of impatience, take three deep breaths before saying anything. This tiny pause can prevent a world of regret! Setting aside just 5-10 minutes daily for mindfulness meditation can work wonders too.
I love teaching clients the "STOP" technique: Stop what you're doing, Take a breath, Observe how you're feeling without judgment, then Proceed mindfully. It's like hitting the reset button on your emotions.
The research backs this up – even schoolchildren who practiced brief mindfulness exercises showed remarkable improvements in self-regulation and patience within just six months. Not bad for a few minutes of breathing!
2. Cultivate Gratitude
It's nearly impossible to feel impatient and grateful at the same time. A fascinating 2016 study found that grateful people were willing to wait longer for larger rewards compared to their less thankful counterparts.
Try jotting down three things you're thankful for each morning – this simple habit can reshape how you respond to delays throughout your day. When you're stuck in that seemingly endless line at the grocery store, challenge yourself to find something to appreciate in that moment. Maybe it's the chance to text a friend, or simply the fact that you have access to food when many don't.
3. Master the Art of Reframing
How we interpret situations dramatically affects our patience levels. Reframing isn't about denial – it's about choosing a more helpful perspective.
That traffic jam? Instead of "This is ruining my day," try "This is an unexpected opportunity to enjoy my audiobook." The slow-moving colleague? Rather than "Why can't they hurry up?" consider "They're being thorough, which might save us problems later."
I've seen clients transform their daily experience just by catching and reframing these automatic thoughts. What story are you telling yourself when impatience strikes?
4. Build Your Discomfort Tolerance
Let's be honest – impatience often stems from discomfort with waiting. Building your ability to sit with uncomfortable feelings without immediately acting to relieve them is like developing a superpower.
Try these small challenges: deliberately choose the longer line at the store, wait 30 minutes before checking a notification, or pick up a hobby that requires patience (gardening has taught me more about waiting than any book ever could!).
Each small act of voluntary waiting strengthens your patience "muscle" for when you really need it. One client told me that after practicing these exercises for a month, her road rage virtually disappeared – she'd built up enough patience reserves to handle even rush hour traffic.
5. Use Deep Breathing and Progressive Relaxation
Your body and mind are connected – when impatience rises, your breathing gets shallow and your muscles tense up. Interrupt this cycle with deep breathing:
Inhale slowly through your nose for four counts, hold for two, then exhale through your mouth for six. This simple pattern activates your parasympathetic nervous system – your body's natural calming mechanism.
Progressive muscle relaxation works wonders too. Start at your toes and work upward, tensing each muscle group for five seconds before releasing. It's amazing how quickly this can restore calm when you're about to lose your cool.
Faith-Based Tactics for Having Patience
At Share The Struggle, we believe faith provides powerful resources for developing patience. Scripture offers numerous examples of patience as a spiritual virtue and practical guidance for cultivating it:
Scripture Meditation
Dwelling on verses about patience can completely shift your perspective when frustration mounts. James 5:7-8 reminds us of the farmer who "waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it," while Galatians 5:22-23 identifies patience as a fruit of the Spirit – not something we manufacture through sheer willpower.
Choose one patience-focused verse each week. Write it somewhere you'll see daily (I keep mine on a sticky note on my bathroom mirror) and reflect on how it applies to your current challenges.
Prayer Pauses
When impatience bubbles up, a brief prayer creates space to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. It doesn't need to be elaborate – even a simple "Lord, grant me patience in this moment" can work wonders.
One client shared that she started praying before answering her phone when her mother-in-law called. This tiny practice transformed a strained relationship into one of genuine care – all because she paused to center herself first.
Taking Thoughts Captive
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, we're instructed to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." This aligns perfectly with our captive-thoughts coaching model at Share The Struggle.
When impatient thoughts arise, try this three-step process:
- Identify the exact thought ("This is taking forever, and it's ruining my day")
- Examine it against biblical truth ("My time is in God's hands")
- Replace it with a more truthful perspective ("This delay is temporary and doesn't define my day")
This practice helps develop patience rooted in faith rather than mere willpower – a much more sustainable approach.
When You Need Extra Help
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, patience remains elusive. This is when additional support can make all the difference. Christian coaching offers a unique combination of faith-based wisdom and practical tools for lasting change.
At Share The Struggle, our coaches specialize in the captive-thoughts model, helping you identify and transform impatient thought patterns. Through regular sessions, you'll develop personalized strategies custom to your specific triggers and create accountability for practicing patience.
Many clients find that even a few months of focused coaching dramatically improves their patience capacity. Our weekly group sessions start at just $40/month, while one-on-one coaching options provide more personalized support at various price points. For couples struggling with patience in their relationship, our couples coaching at $400/month has helped many find new ways to respond to each other with grace.
Having patience isn't about becoming passive – it's about responding to life's inevitable delays and frustrations with wisdom and grace. And sometimes, the most patient thing you can do is reach out for the support you need.
When Patience Turns Toxic: Knowing Your Boundaries
We've talked a lot about the benefits of having patience, but let's be honest—sometimes what looks like patience isn't healthy at all. There's a fine line between virtuous waiting and harmful passivity, and knowing the difference can save you years of unnecessary suffering.
Think about that friend who keeps "patiently" enduring a toxic relationship, or the person who "patiently" accepts being overlooked for promotion year after year. Are they really practicing patience, or something else entirely?
Unhealthy Patience vs. Healthy Boundaries
True patience comes from a place of strength and choice, not fear or avoidance. When I work with coaching clients, I often see confusion between patience and what's actually harmful endurance. Having patience doesn't mean:
Tolerating behavior that diminishes your dignity or safety. If someone is consistently treating you with disrespect or abuse, that's not a patience issue—it's a boundary issue.
Accepting endless broken promises without consequence. We all deserve reliability from those close to us, and continuously "being patient" with someone who repeatedly lets you down may enable harmful patterns.
Waiting indefinitely for changes that actually require your action. Sometimes God isn't asking you to wait patiently—He's waiting for you to move!
As Ecclesiastes reminds us, there is "a time for everything"—including times when waiting is no longer the right response. Discernment about when to wait and when to act is just as important as the patience itself.
Signs Your Patience May Be Counterproductive
Your body and emotions often signal when your "patience" has crossed into unhealthy territory. Pay attention if you notice:
A persistent feeling of resentment while waiting. Healthy patience brings peace, not growing bitterness.
Physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, or sleep problems related to the situation you're "patiently" enduring.
Using patience as an excuse to avoid necessary conflict or change. Sometimes what we call patience is actually fear in disguise.
Important goals being continuously derailed because you're waiting for "the right time" that never seems to come.
A deep sense of powerlessness that grows stronger the longer you wait.
In these situations, what you need might not be more patience, but rather the courage to set clear boundaries or take decisive action.
Balancing Patience with Appropriate Action
Finding the sweet spot between patience and action isn't easy, but it's essential for your wellbeing. Here are some practical ways to find that balance:
Start with clear communication. Before deciding someone has exhausted your patience, make sure you've clearly expressed your needs and expectations. Many relationships improve dramatically once expectations are openly discussed.
Look at patterns, not isolated incidents. Is this a one-time delay that deserves patience, or part of a recurring pattern that suggests deeper issues?
Assess whether there's growth. Even slow progress is still progress. But if a situation has been completely stagnant despite your patience and efforts, it might be time for a different approach.
Examine your motivation honestly. Are you waiting because it's truly the wise thing to do, or because you're afraid of change or conflict? True patience comes from love and wisdom, not fear and avoidance.
Seek guidance from those who know you well. Sometimes we're too close to our own situations to see clearly. A trusted friend, mentor, or coach can offer valuable perspective on whether your patience is healthy or harmful.
At Share The Struggle, our coaches are trained to help you steer these complex discernments. We've seen how challenging it can be to distinguish between godly patience and harmful passivity, especially in situations like troubled relationships, career decisions, or personal growth journeys.
Through our captive-thoughts coaching model, we help you identify the thought patterns that might be masquerading as patience when they're actually holding you back. Sometimes the most spiritually mature response isn't more waiting—it's taking faithful action with courage and clarity.
Frequently Asked Questions about Having Patience
Is patience innate or learnable?
Good news for those of us who weren't born with saint-like patience: having patience is absolutely a skill you can develop. While some people do seem naturally more patient (we all know that friend who never gets ruffled in traffic), research confirms that patience is more like a muscle than an inherited trait.
A fascinating 2012 study showed that people who participated in just two weeks of focused patience training experienced significant improvements in both their patience levels and overall positive emotions. The change wasn't mysterious either—it came through practical techniques that anyone can learn.
Effective patience training typically includes identifying your personal impatience triggers (those specific situations that make your blood pressure rise), learning techniques to regulate your emotions in the moment, building empathy through considering others' perspectives, and practicing mindfulness to stay grounded in the present.
Just like building physical strength requires consistent workouts, developing greater patience requires regular practice. The good news is that each small victory makes the next challenge a little easier to handle.
How does modern tech erode patience?
Our digital world has created a perfect storm of patience-challenging conditions. When was the last time you waited more than a few seconds for a webpage to load without feeling frustrated?
Digital technology undermines our patience in several key ways. The instant gratification of one-click shopping, on-demand entertainment, and immediate messaging has conditioned us to expect immediate results in all areas of life—even those that naturally require time and process.
Our attention has become increasingly fragmented as notifications constantly pull us away from what we're doing, training our brains to seek novel stimuli rather than staying with one task or thought. This makes the sustained attention required for patience increasingly difficult.
Social media creates another challenge through what psychologists call "comparative anxiety." Seeing curated highlights of others' lives creates the illusion that everyone else is achieving goals faster, making our own progress seem inadequate and triggering impatience with our journey.
Perhaps most concerning is our diminished tolerance for boredom. Always having entertainment at our fingertips means we rarely practice sitting with our thoughts—a fundamental component of developing patience.
The good news? Technology itself isn't the villain. With thoughtful boundaries (like designated tech-free times), focus tools, and mindful usage habits, we can harness digital tools to support rather than undermine our patience.
Can you practice patience and still be productive?
This question reflects one of the most common misconceptions about patience—that it somehow means accepting mediocrity or moving slowly. In reality, having patience often boosts productivity in surprising ways.
Patient people typically make fewer mistakes because they take time to do things right the first time, avoiding the time-consuming cycle of errors and corrections. They're also better at prioritizing what truly matters rather than just reacting to whatever seems urgent in the moment.
In team settings, patient individuals listen more effectively, resolve conflicts more constructively, and create the psychological safety that allows everyone to contribute their best work. This collaborative advantage often leads to better outcomes than rushing through projects.
Rather than burning out in exhausting sprints of activity followed by recovery periods, patient people tend to maintain a sustainable pace that produces consistent progress over time. They understand that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is pause, reflect, and recalibrate before continuing.
A Harvard Business Review survey confirmed what many successful leaders already know: patient leadership increases team productivity, creativity, and collaboration. This demonstrates that patience and performance aren't opposing forces but complementary strengths that improve each other.
If you're struggling to balance patience with productivity in your work or personal life, coaching can provide personalized strategies. At Share The Struggle, our coaches help clients develop patience that supports rather than hinders their goals, using both faith-based wisdom and practical techniques. Whether through affordable group sessions or one-on-one coaching, we can help you transform waiting time into growth time.
Conclusion: Changing Waiting into Growth
Having patience isn't just about enduring life's delays and frustrations—it's about changing those moments into opportunities for personal growth, deeper reflection, and more meaningful connections. As we've explored throughout this article, patience delivers remarkable benefits that touch every aspect of our lives, from our mental health and physical wellbeing to our relationships and ability to achieve meaningful goals.
The beautiful truth is that patience isn't some innate quality that only certain people possess—it's a skill that anyone can develop with practice and the right approach. By implementing the strategies we've discussed—mindfulness practices that ground you in the present moment, reframing techniques that shift your perspective, gratitude exercises that cultivate appreciation, and healthy boundary-setting—you can begin experiencing the freedom and peace that come with patient living.
True patience isn't passive resignation or simply "putting up with" difficult circumstances. It's an active choice to respond to life's challenges with calm, perspective, and wisdom. It's having the self-control to wait for the right time and the discernment to recognize when that time has arrived.
At Share The Struggle, we believe faith provides a powerful foundation for developing patience in our world. Our captive-thoughts coaching model helps you identify impatient thinking patterns and transform them through a combination of biblical principles and evidence-based techniques. This approach doesn't just help you endure waiting—it helps you grow through it.
If you're finding it challenging to cultivate patience on your own, reaching out for support can make all the difference. Our coaches, available both in Carlsbad, CA and online, are specially trained to help you develop patience as part of a comprehensive approach to emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
Whether you choose our affordable group coaching for community support ($40/month) or personalized one-on-one sessions for individualized guidance, we're here to walk alongside you on your journey toward greater patience and peace. Many clients find that even a few months of focused coaching creates lasting change in how they respond to life's inevitable delays and challenges.
The waiting game doesn't have to be a struggle. With the right mindset, practical tools, and supportive guidance, those moments of waiting can become your greatest opportunities for change.
Ready to begin your patience journey? Connect with a Share The Struggle coach today and find how having patience can truly change your life from the inside out.
