Understanding Coaching Relationships: Core Assumptions and Influences
The Foundation of Every Coaching Partnership
What core assumption underpins the coaching relationship? The fundamental belief that clients are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole - possessing within themselves the answers and capabilities needed for their own growth and development.
This core assumption serves as the foundation for all effective coaching and shapes how coaches interact with their clients:
Core Assumption What It Means Why It Matters Clients are creative, resourceful, and whole Clients have their own answers and inner wisdom Creates empowerment rather than dependency People don't need fixing Clients aren't broken or incomplete Establishes dignity and respect Clients are the experts in their own lives The coach doesn't need to have all the answers Builds authentic partnership
Research consistently shows that this assumption isn't just philosophical—it's practical. Studies indicate that more than half the variance in goal achievement through coaching is explained by the coachee's own commitment and belief in their ability to change. When coaches operate from this fundamental assumption, they create space for clients to find their own solutions rather than becoming dependent on outside expertise.
This perspective radically differentiates coaching from other helping relationships like consulting or mentoring. Instead of positioning the coach as the expert with all the answers, coaching celebrates the inherent wisdom within each client.
For Christians seeking emotional and spiritual growth, this core assumption aligns beautifully with biblical truth—that God has equipped us with gifts, talents, and the capacity for wisdom when we seek Him. As Proverbs 20:5 suggests, "The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out." This is precisely what coaching aims to do.
At Share The Struggle, our coaches honor this core assumption in every session, whether you're working through anxiety, past trauma, or relationship challenges. Our approach empowers you to find God-given solutions within yourself while providing the structure and support you need to implement them.
What Core Assumption Underpins the Coaching Relationship?
At the heart of every coaching relationship lies a powerful belief that transforms how coaches and clients work together. What core assumption underpins the coaching relationship? Simply put, it's the fundamental belief that clients are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole—capable of finding their own solutions and wisdom.
This perspective is often called the "Green Lens" or "Hero Lens" approach. Rather than viewing clients as problems to be fixed, coaches see them as the heroes of their own stories—complete individuals with innate abilities waiting to be activated.
The Co-Active® Model, one of coaching's most respected frameworks, places this assumption as its first cornerstone. This isn't just a pleasant philosophy—it's the foundation that makes coaching distinctly different from other helping relationships. While consultants provide expert solutions and therapists may focus on healing past wounds, coaches stand firmly in the belief that clients already possess what they need within themselves.
As one coaching expert beautifully puts it, "Coaching is about letting the client teach and the coach become a learner." This reversal of traditional roles creates a partnership that honors the client's wisdom and autonomy.
Defining the Core Assumption: Clients Are Whole, Resourceful, and Have Their Own Answers
To truly understand what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship, let's break down its three essential components:
Clients are whole – This means seeing people as complete, dignified human beings who don't need "fixing." They aren't broken or deficient but fully capable individuals with inherent worth.
Clients are resourceful – Everyone brings a lifetime of strengths, talents, experiences, and capabilities to the table. These inner resources can be activated and applied to current challenges with the right support.
Clients have their own answers – The solutions that will work best for each person already exist within them, even if those answers haven't yet been finded or articulated.
This perspective shifts the entire dynamic of the helping relationship. The coach becomes not a rescuer or director but a companion and mirror—reflecting back the client's brilliance and drawing out their natural wisdom.
Why "Clients Possess Their Own Solutions" Remains the Key Assumption in Coaching
Research consistently validates the power of what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship. Studies show that people commit most deeply to ideas they generate themselves. This explains coaching's effectiveness—it taps into intrinsic motivation rather than imposing external solutions.
A fascinating study in Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice found that a goal-focused coach-coachee relationship predicted coaching success more strongly than even relationship satisfaction. When coaches honor clients' ability to identify their own meaningful goals, outcomes improve dramatically.
This core assumption creates a beautiful cycle: when coaches genuinely believe clients have their own answers, they ask more powerful questions and listen more attentively. This helps clients access their inner wisdom and develop greater self-efficacy, leading to more sustainable results.
For Christians seeking growth, this assumption aligns perfectly with biblical truth. God has uniquely designed each person with gifts, talents, and the capacity for wisdom when we seek Him. At Share The Struggle, we believe the Holy Spirit works through this process, guiding both coach and client toward God's purposes while honoring the beautiful uniqueness of each individual's journey.
Why the Assumption Matters & How It Differentiates Coaching
The belief that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole isn't just a nice idea—it fundamentally transforms how coaching works and the results it delivers. When we truly accept what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship, we create something entirely different from other helping relationships.
Empowerment vs. Dependency
When coaches genuinely believe in their clients' capabilities, something beautiful happens—clients begin to believe in themselves too. Rather than creating dependency on an "expert," coaching builds self-reliance and inner confidence that lasts long after sessions end.
This approach pays off in measurable ways. Organizations consistently report up to 7 times return on their coaching investment. Why? Because empowered people solve their own problems, create their own solutions, and develop the self-efficacy to tackle future challenges without constant outside help.
Adult Learning Principles in Action
Think about how you've learned your most important life lessons. Was it from someone telling you what to do, or from your own experiences and realizations? The core coaching assumption honors how adults naturally learn and grow.
Adults thrive when they direct their own learning journey, connect new ideas to their experiences, focus on immediately relevant challenges, and solve real problems rather than absorb abstract concepts. The coaching relationship creates this exact environment—a space where your wisdom can emerge and flourish.
As one client shared after working with a Share The Struggle coach: "For the first time, I felt like someone believed I could figure things out instead of just telling me what to do. That changed everything."
Clear Differentiation from Other Helping Relationships
What core assumption underpins the coaching relationship also clearly distinguishes coaching from other supportive relationships you might encounter:
In coaching, you're seen as the expert in your own life, working in partnership with someone who draws out your wisdom.
In consulting, the consultant brings specialized knowledge to solve your problems.
In mentoring, someone with experience shares their wisdom to guide your path.
In therapy, the focus often centers on healing past wounds through professional treatment.
Research published in the Journal of Coaching Psychology confirms this distinction, noting that coaching's goal-focused approach fundamentally differentiates it from therapeutic relationships. This goal orientation directly stems from the core assumption that you have the capacity to determine and pursue your own meaningful objectives.
Biblical Alignment with Christian Coaching
For us at Share The Struggle, this core assumption beautifully aligns with biblical truth. Scripture affirms that God has "created us in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10), and that wisdom is available to those who seek it (Proverbs 2:6-8).
Our captive thoughts coaching model builds on the biblical instruction to "take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). This approach honors both the core coaching assumption and God's truth by recognizing that you can—with support and God's wisdom—identify and transform your thought patterns.
When coaching is grounded in this powerful assumption, it creates a sacred space where your God-given potential can fully emerge.
Roles, Responsibilities, and Psychological Safety Under the Assumption
When what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship - that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole - is truly acceptd, it transforms how both coach and client show up in each session. This fundamental belief creates a unique partnership unlike any other helping relationship.
The Coach's Role: Drawing Out Rather Than Pouring In
Under this core assumption, coaches step away from being advice-givers and instead become skilled facilitators of findy. A coach's job isn't to fill an empty vessel but to help uncover what's already there.
"My role is to be deeply curious about who you are and what you want, not to tell you who to be or what to do," explains one of our Share The Struggle coaches. This approach creates space for clients to access their own wisdom.
Coaches honor this assumption by creating judgment-free spaces where exploration feels safe. They listen with complete attention, ask questions that spark new insights, and maintain an unwavering belief in their client's capacity to grow. Even when clients doubt themselves, coaches hold steady in their conviction that solutions and strengths already exist within.
The most powerful coaches understand that their effectiveness comes not from how much knowledge they share but from how well they listen and how skillfully they can help clients find their own path forward.
The Coachee's Role: Active Engagement in Their Own Development
When clients understand they're viewed as whole and capable, they naturally step into greater ownership of their growth journey. Rather than passively receiving advice, they become active participants in creating change.
Successful clients identify their own meaningful goals, commit to action between sessions, and honestly reflect on their experiences. They take responsibility for their choices and remain open to experimenting with new perspectives.
"I used to wait for someone to tell me what to do," shared one Share The Struggle client. "In coaching, I've finded I already know what needs to happen—I just needed someone to help me hear myself clearly."
Research consistently shows that clients who accept their role as the expert in their own lives experience more sustainable change. When they recognize coaching as a partnership rather than a directive relationship, they invest more fully in the process.
Building Trust and Psychological Safety
The core assumption creates fertile ground for trust to flourish. When clients genuinely believe their coach sees them as capable and whole, a remarkable safety emerges in the relationship.
This psychological safety becomes the container in which change happens. Clients express vulnerability, acknowledge growth areas, and take risks without fear of judgment. They can share failures honestly, knowing their coach won't see these as evidence of deficiency but as valuable learning opportunities.
"The first time I admitted I was struggling with anxiety to my coach, I was terrified of being seen as broken," one client shared. "Instead, she helped me see how my anxiety was actually trying to protect me, and that I had everything I needed to work with it differently."
This safety is particularly important in faith-based coaching at Share The Struggle, where clients often steer sensitive spiritual questions alongside emotional challenges. Our coaches create spaces where both faith and struggle can be honestly explored.
Shared Accountability for the Relationship
Perhaps most uniquely, coaching relationships built on this core assumption feature mutual responsibility for the relationship itself. Both parties regularly check in on how the partnership is working:
Is communication clear and helpful? Are we making progress toward your goals? Does this approach feel supportive to you? How might we strengthen our work together?
This shared ownership reflects the fundamental equality in the relationship and reinforces the client's agency in the process. It's not just the coach evaluating the client's progress—it's two partners assessing their collaboration.
At Share The Struggle, our coaching options are designed with this balance in mind. Whether you choose our affordable group coaching at $40/month or more intensive individual sessions, you'll experience a relationship where your wisdom and capabilities are honored while receiving the structure and support needed for meaningful growth.
Practical Ways to Honor the Assumption (Tools, Faith-Based Tips)
Bringing the core assumption that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole into everyday coaching practice isn't just about believing it—it's about living it through specific approaches that empower clients. Here are practical tools and faith-infused strategies that make this belief tangible in coaching conversations.
Active Listening: The Gateway to Client Wisdom
When a coach truly listens—with their whole being, not just their ears—they communicate profound respect for the client's inherent wisdom. Active listening creates a sacred space where clients often feel genuinely heard for the first time, allowing hidden insights to surface naturally.
Deep listening goes beyond catching words; it involves noticing tone shifts, body language, and the emotions behind what's being said. When coaches listen this way, clients begin listening more carefully to themselves too, often finding solutions they didn't realize they already had.
As our experience at Share The Struggle has shown, active listening enables a coaching relationship to achieve breakthroughs that advice-giving simply cannot match.
For Christian coaches, this practice beautifully aligns with James 1:19, which reminds us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak." Try pausing in silent prayer before responding to a client, asking God for discernment that honors the wisdom He's already placed within them.
Powerful Questions That Open up Inner Resources
If listening creates the space, questions are the keys that open up clients' inner resources. The right question, asked at the right moment, can illuminate possibilities a client never considered.
Powerful coaching questions are open-ended invitations that spark genuine reflection. Rather than leading questions with predetermined answers, they arise from authentic curiosity about the client's experience. "What might be possible if...?" often reveals more than "Have you tried...?"
Research consistently shows we commit most deeply to ideas we generate ourselves. By asking thought-provoking questions instead of dispensing advice, coaches honor the core assumption that underpins the coaching relationship—that clients possess their own best solutions.
Jesus himself modeled transformative questioning. His simple "What do you want me to do for you?" (Luke 18:41) invited people to clarify their deepest desires rather than assuming He knew what they needed. Christian coaches can study these biblical examples to improve their questioning practice.
The Captive Thoughts Model in Coaching
At Share The Struggle, we've developed a unique approach based on 2 Corinthians 10:5—taking "every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ." This captive thoughts coaching model beautifully bridges faith principles with the core coaching assumption.
Through this approach, clients learn to recognize distorted thinking patterns, examine them against biblical truth, and replace them with God's perspective. The beauty is that clients themselves do this work—the coach simply provides the framework and supportive questions that help them access their God-given capacity for change.
This process respects clients' ability to identify and change their own thinking while offering a biblical foundation that resonates deeply with Christian clients seeking emotional and mental wellness.
Prayerful Reflection and Spiritual Discernment
Prayer enriches the coaching relationship by inviting divine wisdom into the conversation. For Christian women seeking life coaching, this spiritual dimension often makes the difference between surface-level change and profound change.
Integrating prayer might look like opening sessions with a brief invocation for clarity, encouraging journaling prayers about coaching goals, or pausing during challenging moments to silently seek God's guidance. These practices honor both the core coaching assumption and the Christian belief that God works through and within us.
Many clients find that reflecting on scripture relevant to their situation provides additional insight. A coach might ask, "What passage comes to mind as you consider this challenge?" rather than prescribing a verse—again trusting the client's connection to spiritual wisdom.
Creating Actionable Experiments
Coaches who truly believe in their clients' resourcefulness invite them to design small, practical experiments to test new approaches. Unlike homework assignments handed down by an expert, these experiments emerge from the client's own insights and curiosity.
Client-designed experiments build confidence as people see tangible results from their own ideas. Whether it's practicing a difficult conversation, trying a new spiritual discipline, or setting boundaries in a relationship, these small steps reinforce the client's capacity to create meaningful change.
The coach's role isn't to judge the experiment's success but to help the client reflect on what they learned—what worked, what didn't, and what adjustments they might want to make next time. This reflection process deepens self-trust and reinforces the core assumption that underpins the coaching relationship.
For more insights on effective coaching approaches, the International Coaching Federation provides excellent resources on evidence-based coaching practices that honor client autonomy and wisdom.
At Share The Struggle, we've seen how these practical approaches transform lives through our various coaching options. Whether you're considering our affordable group coaching at $40/month or more intensive one-on-one sessions, the foundation remains the same—we believe in your God-given capacity to grow and change with the right support.
Common Barriers and Solutions to Uphold the Assumption
Even coaches who fully accept the core assumption that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole sometimes struggle to consistently honor this belief in practice. Let's explore the most common barriers and practical solutions that help maintain the integrity of this foundational coaching principle.
Overcoming the Advice-Giving Temptation
Most coaches know the feeling—that moment when you just know what your client should do, and it takes everything in you not to blurt it out. This advice-giving impulse can be particularly strong when:
You have relevant expertise in exactly what your client is facing. Maybe you've overcome the same challenge or have professional knowledge that seems perfect for their situation.
Your client is visibly struggling to find their own path forward, and you can see them becoming frustrated or discouraged.
Time feels limited, and you want to help them make progress quickly rather than letting them explore at their own pace.
You unconsciously want to prove your value by demonstrating your expertise and knowledge.
The problem? Research consistently shows that people commit most deeply to solutions they find themselves. When we rush to give advice, we rob clients of the ownership that drives lasting change.
Instead of giving in to the advice temptation, try these approaches:
Notice the internal urge to give advice and simply pause. Take a breath. This creates space to choose a more empowering response.
Transform your advice into curiosity: "I have a thought about that, but I'm more interested in what you're thinking. What options are you considering?"
If you truly believe your perspective might be valuable, ask permission: "Would it be helpful if I shared an observation about what I'm hearing?"
After sessions where you felt the advice-giving pull, reflect on what triggered it. Was it impatience? Discomfort with the client's struggle? Understanding your own patterns helps you grow as a coach.
Addressing Client Resistance to Ownership
Sometimes the barrier comes from clients themselves. Many people come to coaching with expectations shaped by other helping relationships that created dependency. They might:
Expect you to be the expert with all the answers, repeatedly asking "What should I do?" or "What would you do?"
Feel overwhelmed by responsibility, finding it easier to follow directions than to make their own choices.
Lack confidence in their judgment, especially if past decisions led to painful outcomes.
Come from backgrounds where authority figures always provided answers, making the coaching approach feel unfamiliar or even frustrating.
When clients resist taking ownership, try these approaches:
Have an explicit conversation about the coaching partnership model at the beginning of your relationship. Explain what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship and why it matters for their growth.
Normalize the discomfort they might feel: "It's completely natural to want answers from me. Most of us were taught to look to experts. But I've seen how much more powerful it is when you find your own solutions."
Celebrate even small moments of insight or decision-making: "Did you notice what just happened? You worked through that entirely on your own, and the solution you found fits your situation perfectly."
Break down larger challenges into smaller steps that feel manageable, building confidence gradually.
Navigating Hierarchical Mindsets
In organizational settings or cultures with strong hierarchical traditions, the egalitarian nature of coaching can feel uncomfortable for everyone involved. This discomfort might show up as:
Excessive deference to the coach's perceived authority Reluctance to disagree with the coach's perspective Discomfort with questions rather than clear directives Expectations that the coach will evaluate or judge performance
To steer these hierarchical expectations while honoring the core assumption:
Clarify roles explicitly: "My job isn't to be your boss or to evaluate you. I'm here as your thinking partner."
Model vulnerability by acknowledging the limits of your knowledge and being open to feedback about your coaching.
Invite clients to evaluate each session: "How helpful was our conversation today? What would make our next session even more valuable for you?"
Adjust your communication style to respect cultural differences while maintaining coaching principles. In some contexts, this might mean being more formal initially while still asking powerful questions.
Overcoming Shame and Self-Doubt
Research into coaching effectiveness reveals that shame can profoundly limit a client's ability to engage authentically. When shame or self-doubt is present, clients often:
Hide important information, sharing only what feels "acceptable" Present an idealized version of themselves rather than their authentic struggles Seek approval rather than pursuing their own insights and growth Avoid exploring areas where they feel inadequate or flawed
This is particularly relevant in faith-based coaching, where clients may carry shame about not measuring up to perceived spiritual standards.
To create a shame-free environment that honors the core assumption:
Build exceptional psychological safety through consistent non-judgment. As our resource on The Helping Framework: Listening explains, creating a safe space allows clients to be authentic about their struggles.
Help clients distinguish between behavior and identity: "Making a mistake doesn't make you a failure. It makes you human."
Apply biblical truth about God's grace and acceptance. At Share The Struggle, we emphasize that God's love isn't conditional on performance—and neither is our support as coaches.
Normalize struggle as part of the human experience: "Everyone faces these challenges. You're not alone, and having difficulties doesn't diminish your worth or potential."
Managing Time Constraints
The pressure of limited session time can tempt even the most client-centered coach to shortcut the findy process by becoming more directive. This undermines the core assumption and reduces client ownership.
Instead of rushing:
Trust the process and the client's capacity. A single powerful insight that belongs to the client is worth more than several coach-directed solutions.
Use structured approaches like the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward) to maintain focus while honoring client wisdom.
Develop comfort with silence, allowing clients space to reflect deeply during sessions.
Help clients prioritize their most important areas to explore rather than trying to cover everything.
By addressing these common barriers with intentional strategies, coaches consistently honor what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship—that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole. This foundation creates empowering partnerships that lead to genuine, lasting change.
At Share The Struggle, our coaches are trained to recognize and overcome these barriers, ensuring that our faith-based approach to emotional and mental health challenges always affirms the God-given capacity within each person to grow and change.
Frequently Asked Questions about the Core Assumption in Coaching
What if a client truly doesn't know the answer?
When clients say "I don't know," it's rarely about lacking capacity—it's usually about access. Think of it like having a treasure chest of wisdom that temporarily feels locked.
What core assumption underpins the coaching relationship in these moments? The belief that the client isn't broken or missing answers, but simply in need of the right keys to open up their existing wisdom.
Most "I don't know" moments happen because clients are:
Feeling overwhelmed by too many possibilities
Experiencing fear that blocks clear thinking
Missing specific information they need
Unaware of patterns in their own behavior or thinking
Great coaches respond with curiosity rather than rescuing. They might say, "Let's explore this together" or "What would you know if you did know?" These responses honor the client's capacity while acknowledging the temporary challenge.
I remember a client who was completely stuck on a career decision. Rather than telling her what to do, we broke the question down: "What energizes you in your current role?" This smaller question open uped a stream of insights she already possessed but couldn't access when facing the bigger decision all at once.
How does this assumption apply in crisis or trauma coaching?
In moments of crisis, the core coaching assumption doesn't disappear—it just looks different. Even during difficult times, clients still possess wisdom, agency, and the capacity to steer challenges with support.
When someone is experiencing trauma or crisis, good coaches recognize that safety comes first, while still honoring the client's inherent resourcefulness by:
"I see your strength even when you can't feel it right now," a coach might say to a client in crisis. This affirms their capacity while acknowledging their current struggle.
At Share The Struggle, we take a balanced approach. Our coaches maintain firm boundaries around coaching versus therapy, making appropriate referrals when clients need clinical support. We believe in clients' resilience while also connecting them with additional resources when needed.
The core assumption doesn't mean abandoning clients to figure everything out alone—it means believing in their ability to steer difficulties with the right support. Like a walking companion on a difficult trail, we're there beside them without carrying them.
Can a coach ever give direct advice and still honor the assumption?
Yes! The core assumption isn't about never sharing expertise—it's about how and when you share it.
Coaches can occasionally offer suggestions while still honoring what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship by:
"I notice something that might be helpful. Would you like me to share it?" This simple question preserves the client's authority while offering potential value.
Research shows that coaches who occasionally share relevant expertise can be effective, provided they quickly return to drawing out the client's thinking. The key is proportion—about 80% curiosity and 20% (or less) sharing.
One Share The Struggle coach puts it beautifully: "I see my occasional suggestions as seeds the client can either plant or discard. They remain the gardener of their own life."
How can I tell if I'm truly honoring this assumption in my coaching?
Self-awareness is crucial for coaches committed to honoring the core assumption. Try asking yourself these revealing questions after sessions:
Who did most of the talking today?
Did I ask genuinely curious questions or disguised advice?
When did I feel impatient with the client's process?
Am I celebrating their insights as much as their "progress"?
Do I believe this person can succeed without my solutions?
A coach who truly believes in clients' resourcefulness feels a sense of wonder rather than worry when clients are processing. They're comfortable with silence and trust the client's journey.
At Share The Struggle, our coaches engage in regular peer supervision and prayer to maintain awareness of how well they're honoring both coaching principles and biblical values. We believe that this reflective practice helps us serve clients better by keeping us grounded in the core assumption that they are creative, resourceful, and whole.
If you're curious about experiencing coaching that truly honors your God-given wisdom and capacity, our coaching options provide various ways to connect with coaches who will believe in you even when you struggle to believe in yourself.
Conclusion
The core assumption that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole isn't just a philosophical idea—it's the living, breathing heart of effective coaching. When coaches truly believe in their clients' natural ability to find their own answers and create meaningful change, they build relationships that empower rather than foster dependency.
Research consistently backs up this approach. Studies show that people achieve more lasting results when coaches honor their independence and help them uncover their inner wisdom instead of imposing outside solutions. As the evidence demonstrates, what core assumption underpins the coaching relationship directly impacts outcomes—people commit most strongly to ideas they generate themselves, and more than half of coaching success comes from the client's own belief in their ability to change.
For Christians seeking emotional and mental health support, this foundational belief beautifully aligns with biblical truth. Scripture tells us that God creates each person with purpose and equips them with unique gifts and abilities. At Share The Struggle, our captive thoughts coaching model builds on this foundation, helping you identify and transform thinking patterns through God's truth and your own God-given discernment.
Whether you're facing anxiety, relationship challenges, or personal growth obstacles, our coaches honor your inherent wisdom while providing the structure, support, and biblical perspective to help you move forward. We've seen time and again that lasting change happens when clients find their own solutions within a supportive, faith-centered coaching relationship.
We've made our coaching approach accessible through various options to fit different needs and budgets:
Weekly 1-hour group sessions (max of 8 people) for $40/month
Weekly 25-minute 1-on-1 coaching (or bi-weekly 50-minute sessions) for $180/month
Weekly 50-minute 1-on-1 coaching for $360/month
Weekly 50-minute couples coaching for $400/month
Each option stays true to the core coaching assumption while providing the specific support you need on your journey toward emotional and spiritual well-being.
Ready to experience the power of a coaching relationship built on the belief in your God-given capacity for growth? Learn more about our coaching options and take your next step toward wholeness today.
